My letter of resignation

I posted on twitter that I was resigning from parenthood, this quickly got a phone call from my husband telling me that I wasn't allowed. It got me thinking what would my resignation letter look like so here you go:

Dear Mini bosses and Spouse boss,

I am writing this letter to inform you that I am resigning from the position of cook, maid, nurse, chauffeur, personal attendant, chore girl, bookkeeper, tutor, and laundry attendant.
I have decided that due to the economy changing I must also make some changes. In doing your fiances for the last fifteen years I know that you cannot afford to increase my non-existence pay beyond what I am receiving at this point.
I would like to thank you for your time and tell you how much I appreciate all the on the job training that I have received. If I had not had the pleasure of working for you I would never have learned that I have magic powers, you see I have found that I am capable of locating items that don't belong to me and that I didn't put away (or leave laying somewhere). I would never have learned that I have psychic powers and can read minds, you see I can at this point tell if someone is lying without you having to take that stupid test. I would like to thank you for all the training I have received in your laundry department, because of the Minni's I have learned that I am capable of doing large mounds of laundry in record time and remove stains of things I am not even sure of their origin. I have learned other things about myself from working for you that I would like to share, I have learned that I can help the "Minni's" write fabulous papers but even if I understand the math problems they won't believe me anyway, that is OK it has made me understand my limitations. I would also like to thank you for the times you allowed me to take care of your precious livestock, I have found that I can locate the vet on my own, deliver babies and provide medical attention to things with four legs. I have enjoyed very much the times that I was required drive the "Minni's" from place to place, I have learned that I am capable of tuning the radio, answering three different questions and drive on my side of the road with WWE happening in the backseat.
If you have questions after I leave about any of the things I was once responsible for please do not try to call me. I will have relocated to a quite remote Island with drinks that have tiny umbrellas and I don't see myself being able to complete any of the previous job duties do to my future state of being.